Tag Archives: incident report

My Last School Trip 6 – Where there’s a Will.

Where there’s a Will there’s a way

Wearing my English teacher’s hat, may I ask you to note the ‘decoached’? Fake military usage, he did not get that from my English classes, nor the ‘bag acting suspiciously’, nor ‘it transpired’. PE teachers! You’ll have found a few more verbal infelicities, I’m sure.

There was more to our meeting than ever got written down – incident reports leave out the ‘Not fair’s, the ‘Nothing in the handout about no dogs’, or ‘Mr Turnstone said no rats, he never mentioned dogs’ .

It was true enough; Charlie had not thought to write anything about dogs in his handout. Drugging Scruffy up, of course, did not look good, but thankfully, no harm seemed to have been done. And, as I remarked pointedly, all those years before, when I’d last come, students’ dogs had been allowed. And Scruffy did not appear to want to round up sheep or chase cows.

A bell rang, a real one in the mill tower. ”Time to bring this meeting to a close,” I suggested, “with pleasing thoughts that in this moment there is life and food, as Will so neatly put it.”

“Will, Sir?”

I patted my pocket, where the book of romantic verse lay. ”Yes, Darren, Where there’s a Will there’s a way.”

My Last School Trip 5 – Incident Report on Darren Hogben by Mr Kipling

Wickenden Mountain Centre

Incident Report

Student name/school:                                       Date:

Darren Hogben,  Gt Elms                                                       Saturday

What went before:

Darren & other students decoached. Darren’s bag was acting suspiciously.

What happened:

Darren was requested to open his bag. It transpired that he was smuggling his dog into the centre.

Staff action:

Darren sent to exercise the dog before sending Darren home with him.

Parents informed?

Mr Kipling attempted  to ring Darren’s mother whom it transpired was out of the country. A ‘text message’ was left on her mobile phone. Next of Kin, Darren’s grandmother, Mrs Hogben, did not answer her phone. Mr Turnstone felt that to send Darren home unaccompanied and across London could be deemed irresponsible if there was no-one expecting him. Mrs Hogben Snr was not expecting Darren and was unable to accommodate him. As Darren’s form tutor in loco parentis he could not agree to such a course of action. Darren had to stay the first night at least as no contact had been made with Mrs Hogben Snr before the last possible train had departed Abergavenny.

Outside Agencies:

Unable to contact Mrs Hogben Snr.


Robert J Kipling